you promised me “we’ll be all right.” and we weren’t. i asked you to “hold me in your heart,” and it seemed you didn’t. i tried to hold on with all of my might. and it wasn’t all right.

we both tried… heaven only knows the stories we both told ourselves to make it better each morning when we started up again. we both wanted it to be all right, you tried to hold me, i tried to hold you. it’s over and it’s okay.

“the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view, and will live a long life…” — mumford & sons (track 5 from babel)


the us and life we knew is now long gone, the memories and life lessons are not. they live on in new lives for you, me and two sweet kiddos. they result in new directions forward, they “give me hope in the darkness that i will see the light…”

peace will come, as it does. and sometimes these old thoughts come in to disturb the surface of the pond of me. each time these come around no longer needs a depth-finder, it is now a bit simpler, a bit less perturbed, a bit easier to honor — it is the pain that’s mine to bear and I accepted this oh so long ago, before my soul even knew.

“you knelt beside my hope torn apart” — these old memories that surfaced needed a place to be heard. it is so, and these are them.


ps: please, join me in listening and a bit of keening… Mumford & Sons Ghosts That We Knew — the rising banjo is amazing and the vocals are soul-felt. they released a certain amount of old juju for me…  enjoy your own bittersweet memories perhaps.