once upon a time, on a thanksgiving day long ago and far away, a girl and a boy decided it would be a good day to marry. after all, what could possibly be more auspicious than acknowledging your life union on a day of thanks giving and gratitude?

this was a great idea that led to 16 years of wedded bliss. the day started with a spin class. oh wait, before that, there was the alarm for 6am, and the fun of prepping my favorite spicy sausage cornbread stuffing (mom-inspired) and loading up a big ole 18# organic bird. after giving it a comforter of tinfoil and timed heat it was off to the spin class. with Andre. if you have ever experienced any of his classes, you would KNOW deeply that this is an amazing way to start any day. and particularly a wedding day  :)

did I mention this was to happen in Bob’s home? even though he was out of the country, he gave his blessing. it was a bit of an overcast day in san francisco, cool with artistic gray skies. the bride wore attire for the winter season, a fitted, long sleeved strapless black velvet corset and a deep red-burgundy long gored skirt. the shoes were velvet, mid-heel height with ankle straps, and worn out by night’s end. yes, you guys, you’re busted, I *know* you all tried them on. and stretched them out. it’s cool.  :)

the bride was alone in representing the female population of the world, her new husband was of the straight persuasion as well, and all other attendees and officials were gay and male. and of course Bailey was in attendance (pictured here), the beginning of a long love affair for me with puppy dogs and their absolute unconditional love.


After the spin class I was so lucky to be attended to by professional hair stylists in attendance. A friend (and dear business partner) had been ordained to marry us. we wrote the vows ourselves.

i had been to the flower mart downtown. the house was filled with tuberose, gardenia and greenery. the fireplace was stacked with fresh wood. the backyard was groomed and overgrown with ivy and verdana. all was set.

the bird in the oven was beginning to glisten and the frequent basting was a tantalizing set of scents. the table was set. family candelabra was placed and flickering, photos were taken in the beautiful garden downstairs, and the basting continued. the fireplace was lit and we all gathered in the living room where vows were made with the sounds of a crackling fire as backdrop. it was a sacred moment and the thought of it makes me smile still.

afterwards, we all moved to the kitchen and dining room to continue the day of thanks giving and marriage. the bird was sumptuous. the company divine. champagne flowed. all was well with the world. we had eloped. we had family and friends scattered from southern california to san francisco, arcata, california to boston and connecticut. there was no easy “out” for a location to be married in. we hoped that at each location we could simply have another fun wedding party to enjoy family and friends in different locations. i loved being able to wear my unique wedding attire at different times and places. it was pretty doggone ideal.

Life is so good. Roy and I are still friends with fond memories and a lot of growing up between us and our 16 years together. Bob and Migue are dear friends. Andre is a steadfast and angelic bff. and the home on Dolores is still filled with amazing souls. Life moves forward, outward and onward, ever and ever.

might you have a memory that you can now be grateful for? one that might have seemed conflicted and yet proved itself to be the stuff of life? maybe you will have some time today to reflect, and be grateful as well.

much love, and I honor and acknowledge each of you here. what’s up? let me know. namaste.