*NOTE: thanks to facebook serving me up my memories, I copied and pasted what I wrote for my dad on each of the last july 7’s. i’m still so lucky to have had such an amazing dad. lately I’ve begun to work on regret, and it has been transformative. as well, it is wondrous to see my own growth, in writing, in sharing, on a spiritual path. I can remember the posts I put up, successively for the last three years and I find myself in a place of ever-growing, of strength and courage, curiosity and confidence. I can see and feel in my body the changes that have been happening. it makes me glad to see this, and sad because it would have been so much fun to share these conversations with my dad as I grow up and (finally!) started becoming a real adult   :)   may you each experience your own transformations, and see the trajectory of your own growth!

 

july 7, 2015 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

two years ago today my dad died.

two years seems at once interminably long ago, as my life today bears little resemblance to then. it also seems as if everything only happened in the blink of an eye.

sometimes when i sit under a tree and reminisce, I can feel and hear and see my dad, as close as if he were sitting beside me. Chances are, we were more likely to sit side by side in the hot tub, or across from each other playing cribbage or enjoying a meal, or perhaps in a golf cart or ranging around the pool table, lining up shots. sometimes I am quite young, or in high school, at home where I grew up, or in the first home mom and dad bought. sometimes I am in one of the many wonderful cabins in the mountains… or on vacations together in hawaii, on road trips or outside napping in the sun. it’s likely we were both lizards in a past life as we share that sweet propensity to soak up sunshine.

sometimes i *know* that he is right there in a room with me and I’ll say hi and we’ll have a short lovely conversation. these moments always make me smile. sometimes I simply know that a part of him is always going to be in me and with me, as close as my next breath.

I have been blessed with so many amazing experiences and shared moments of love and fun in my family — and they have resulted in so many incredible memories. sweet dad, I love you so much, and miss your presence in the here and now forever.

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july 7 2014 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences. No excuses. No negativity. No psychic pollution. Keep your inner space clear.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

i am grateful that my security and peace lie within me and that i can ground and center myself.
i am grateful for the flow and cycle of life. i know this moment is ephemeral and i will enjoy each one given to me fully.
i am grateful to come home to my true self and recognize that in each one of us. namaste.

 

july 7 2014 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

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we can never know what will happen each day. one year ago on this day, a great man, my father, left this life that we know. his life has brought me more gifts than i can count. love, laughter, common sense, communication, connection and wholehearted living.

he honored my choices, my path, my being. his death brought me many insights into life. i am forever grateful. and we are all connected forever in this journey of which we know so little.

his legacy to me was to live each day fully and well, to love, to have fun, work hard, feel your successes and disappointments completely — to BE immersed in life. thank you daddy!

 

july 7, 2013 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”
–Groucho Marx

 

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